Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Feeling Sad

Duck is sad. Black clouds hang over her head and even the flowers are sad. She doesn't know quite what to do, but with the help of her friends, she comes up with a plan that gives her the feeling that she has the power to change things. So Duck sets out to find the sun...and slowly the color and light comes back into her life.
Sometimes we feel sad that the darkness and heaviness of what we may be sad about, overpowers the light and the color that surrounds us. Sometimes it takes a bit of encouragement, love and support from others. Sometimes it just takes time.

I asked one of my classes this week what yoga pose we might go to when we feel sad? What shape might our body want to take? With heavy shoulders, every child in the class went into Child's Pose - a resting pose. Baron Baptiste once said, "Sometimes the storms in life can literally bring us to our knees. Child's Pose give us the opportunity for spiritual surrender, to realize that 'of myself I can do nothing, but there is a power in me here that realizes I can." While taking a Child's Pose may be viewed as weakness, giving up, or defeat...we realize this moment of "pause" and surrender is the exact place where we regain our strength and will to continue. Over the past 16 months that my father was on Hospice, I had fallen to my knees time and time again. I had fallen in exhaustion. I had fallen in fear. I had fallen in what felt like defeat. Those were my moments to pause, to breathe, to pray, to be sad...and then ultimately to find the strength to keep on going. Taking these pauses are essential to our mental and emotional health...for us and for our keep ourselves healthy so we can continue to support each other. So, in class this week we all paused together in Child's Pose.

On September 6th, I watched my father take his last breath. Kneeling in his bed, I leaned forward and held tight to his hand. He surrendered and we all paused with an unbearable sadness. Watching someone die is a profound experience...and then your heart breaks. I'm sad...and there is a heaviness...and sometimes the color and the light is hard to find. Then I see a picture of him or someone shares a story about him that makes me smile and I know he would want me to be happy. So I look in the sky, for the sun, for the light and the color. I have seen some of the most beautiful sunsets this past week...then I know he's okay. I don't believe my dad "lost" this 5 year battle with Leukemia/Lymphoma...because a battle fought with courage, dignity and grace is not a is an inspiration. May we all be inspired.

Thank you to everyone who has stood by my family's side this past week...comforting us, cooking for us, praying for us. Sending flowers, sending cards, sending love. Sending so much gratitude your way. May we all keep taking the time to pause, find strength and keep on going.
I love you, Poppyseed.